Thinking About Bill and Hill

So, I see that Hillary Clinton won’t be making it to the Presidency this year, even though she is still getting more press than John McCain. Many people are thinking that her loss was because of the issues.

But here’s what I’m thinking:

I’m thinking that one of her problems with this campaign is that she kept getting caught when telling lies. Using Bill as a coach in this area was not a good choice, but love is blind. Remember, she was the one who thought him especially believable when he did not have sex with that woman. Of course, that’s probably only based on how she defines sex. And, no, we won’t be using the Freedom of Information Act to find out what that is.

I’m thinking that she did not do her best in the campaign because she was continually distracted by visions of her hidden agenda which can only be revenge. She must want very badly to have her turn at adulterous oral stimulation in the Oval Office. There is no other way to explain the combination of her staying married to Bill Clinton and her zealous, never-say-die determination to get back into the White House.

I’m also thinking that she should have been spending her campaign money more wisely, like on liposuction and a facelift. A better plan for her election would have been to divorce Bill and marry herself a nice rich oil sheikh. Getting gas prices back to a dollar a gallon could have clinched the election for her. Of course, we’d probably even elect Osama Bin Laden if he could do that. But would that knowledge make the winning any less sweet for her?

But most of all, I’m thinking that what really lost her the election is the thought of Bill Clinton filling the traditional spousal role around the White House. I keep picturing the White House redone in Early American Brothel and the Inaugural Ball photos shot with the dignitaries grouped around the stripper poles.