Thinking About McCain
So, I see the latest statistics show that the 2008 Presidential candidates have the country evenly divided. This means that, even though John McCain’s next campaign policy idea could easily be for greater measures in tracking down the latest pair of successful suicide bombers, half the country may still vote Republican.
But here’s what I’m thinking:
I’m thinking that most of his policies have tended to cancel each other out. Here’s just one example: Although he promises to save Social Security from its impending depletion by retiring Baby Boomers, he will create another Baby Boom by offering to double the tax deduction on dependent children. McCain should really be investigating to see if his advisors are possibly registered as Democrats. Or checking to see if his staff’s pension funds are being deposited through the Democratic National Committee.
I’m thinking that McCain’s statement about Arizona mothers not telling their children they can grow up to be President may be designed to foreshadow the basis of his exit strategy. Apparently, since the Democrats have stolen “recount” as their face-saving motto, John will be relying on the time-tested “It’s always the mother’s fault”. And, based on the groundwork already laid by her Mitt Romney performance on CNN last year, we’ll have no problems believing it.
I’m also thinking of his fondness for quoting that, “It’s always darkest before it goes completely black”. I’m not sure if he means that as the exit phrase he’ll be using when he loses to a black man or if it means that to fund his hundred year’s war, we’ll have to go without electricity. Maybe that’s why he feels the need to spend $300M to develop a better battery.
I’m thinking that I don’t know what the politically correct phrase is to describe what I feel when I hear about McCain’s policies. You may know it, it’s the same word we use to describe what we think about President Bush when we’re trying to avoid using the word retarded.
But, most of all I’m thinking that Senator McCain is very fortunate that a group of foresighted Republicans still own The New Yorker.
But here’s what I’m thinking:
I’m thinking that most of his policies have tended to cancel each other out. Here’s just one example: Although he promises to save Social Security from its impending depletion by retiring Baby Boomers, he will create another Baby Boom by offering to double the tax deduction on dependent children. McCain should really be investigating to see if his advisors are possibly registered as Democrats. Or checking to see if his staff’s pension funds are being deposited through the Democratic National Committee.
I’m thinking that McCain’s statement about Arizona mothers not telling their children they can grow up to be President may be designed to foreshadow the basis of his exit strategy. Apparently, since the Democrats have stolen “recount” as their face-saving motto, John will be relying on the time-tested “It’s always the mother’s fault”. And, based on the groundwork already laid by her Mitt Romney performance on CNN last year, we’ll have no problems believing it.
I’m also thinking of his fondness for quoting that, “It’s always darkest before it goes completely black”. I’m not sure if he means that as the exit phrase he’ll be using when he loses to a black man or if it means that to fund his hundred year’s war, we’ll have to go without electricity. Maybe that’s why he feels the need to spend $300M to develop a better battery.
I’m thinking that I don’t know what the politically correct phrase is to describe what I feel when I hear about McCain’s policies. You may know it, it’s the same word we use to describe what we think about President Bush when we’re trying to avoid using the word retarded.
But, most of all I’m thinking that Senator McCain is very fortunate that a group of foresighted Republicans still own The New Yorker.
Labels: McCain, political humor, president, republican
posted by Candy Shockley at
10:09 AM
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