Thinking About Secession

So, I hear that Rich Moyle, Commissioner of North Lauderdale, is proposing to divide Florida into two separate states. Secession is not an ideal opening gambit for solving political problems, but the City of Margate is the next to take up the issue, so you never know what these city politicians are thinking.

But here’s what I’m thinking:

I’m thinking that Rich Moyle is absolutely right about the fact that we should be upset with the way money is being spent in this state. Right now, I’m very upset that one of our politicians has spent Florida taxpayer money by sending out 306 packets of a resolution that the author, Rich Moyle, admits is doomed to failure. Of course, he can always be proud of the money he saved by narrowly beating the deadline for the postal rate increase.

I’m thinking that one fact really stands out for me and it is this. The only part of the plan that has been thought about in any detail is the description of the proposed dividing line for the state. It leads me to believe that this line may possibly be a geological path of least resistance where their new state of South Florida can be chopped right off the continental shelf. Besides creating more oceanfront property, if they can tow their chunk more than three miles off the coast they’ve got an enormously lucrative floating casino. Also, they’ll be portable enough so when they get mad at the way the Federal Government is spending their money, they can just pack it all up and tugboat it elsewhere down the sea lane.

But most of all I’m thinking that if the state splits up, Democrats will have finally solved the problem of how to get the Florida delegates back into the Democratic National Convention and, at the same time, can satisfy their apparently never-ending lust for a voting do-over.