Thinking About Neighborhood Watching

So, even though budgets are being cut nationwide, local governments small enough to monitor you at your homes like Big Brother are still in business. Like my small town, they are thinking that their voluminous municipal code laws are entirely necessary for the survival of their citizens.

But here’s what I’m thinking:

I’m thinking that this overlegislation must be stopped before it’s too late. Our Building Department has already outlawed white picket fences in front yards. Yes, you heard me, they have already trampled all over the American dream. First we let them come poking around our yards, and the next thing you know they’ll find a way to inspect the insides of homes. That scares me to death. I have a feeling they’ll find my housekeeping to be a code violation.

I’m thinking that their vigilance has backfired in their quest to protect housing values. Potential home buyers in our neighborhood will get the wrong idea when they visit. We don’t have a crime problem. The “no trespassing” signs prominently displayed at every house are only there so that the code people can’t go snooping in our backyards. Actually, the only criminals on our block are us. If you haven’t gotten hit with a lawn, dog or trash violation yet, then you’ve just moved here this week. Municipal laws are the gateway laws that have led to America’s vast crime problem.

But most of all I’m thinking that my city has so many nit-picking ordinances now that ignorance of the law really has become an excuse. In fact, some of these laws are so ridiculous that, from now on, I’m going to actually choose ignorance. After all, it’s obvious the lawmakers already have.