Thinking About Fuel

So, America has leapt onto the corn ethanol bandwagon, thinking that it will swiftly conquer our oil dependency.

But here’s what I’m thinking:

I’m thinking it’s all a great big show, given that corn is one of the least efficient crops for biofuel. And, at the same time that we are aggressively replenishing our oil reserves. I guess America figures that if we just wait it out, continued global warming can be a boon to the biofuel industry. As the warmed waters rise, deserts will be irrigated and huge tracts of polar areas will be de-iced – think of all the new farmland that will be available without any deforestation. And we helped.

I’m thinking we’re drilled in too deep. We’ve been sucking up to oil-rich nations as far back as when the nation’s capital was relocated from New York. It’s no coincidence that Washington, D.C. is located in the middle east. All our politicians have known to invest in oil from way back. Why else would they give the okay to a trillion-dollar war over it that could take a hundred years or so? The generous hearts they usually show only to their prostitutes?

But mostly I’m thinking that we suck at agriculture. The last time the U.S. relied on crops, we used imported slaves. We’re still paying for that. Then, we paid farmers not to farm so we could eat imported food. We’re still paying for that, too. Recently, we used illegally imported Mexican labor. We’re now paying for a multimillion dollar fence to keep them away. Well, all but the skinniest, who are able to squeeze right through it. Anyway, in the future we’ll have to harvest crops using former NASA employees, disgraced clerics and those whose lives were ruined by YouTube videos. It’ll be expensive, too, but at least we’ll have an ample supply.