Thinking About Wiping Iran Off the Map

So, I’ve been reading about our efforts to avoid war with Iran, even while the country’s leaders are outspokenly hostile against Americans and are speedily beefing up their nuclear capabilities. I guess we’re thinking that declaring war on yet another Middle Eastern country will put a further drain on our poor economy, even while it may get us lower gas prices again.

But here’s what I’m thinking:

I’m thinking that wars are usually good things to avoid, but they are generally fought in other countries. Nukes can actually reach me, I mean us, here at home. Although Iran’s nuclear power is supposedly only to provide light to study their Qurans by, you’d think a desert country would opt for more cost-effective solar energy instead. Their excuse is probably that there aren’t any cheap Jews left in Iran who can point out this tremendous bargain to them.

I’m thinking that a lot of Americans, knowing the year-end balances of our dwindling 401K accounts and our latest depressing housing valuations, are probably more suicidal than the Muslims are at this point. We could easily beat them at their own game. We could also distract the extremists away from task by secretly supplying their troops with antidepressants, pot and prostitutes. Their leaders will suddenly become unable to recruit drivers for their explosive-laden vehicles and they sure as hell aren’t going to volunteer themselves.

But most of all, I’m thinking that Iran wants to have nuclear bombs, and, by allowing this, it will enable us to solve two problems with one worldwide launching. Any countries wanting to participate in the ongoing program to reduce their nuclear arsenals can just send them right over to Tehran. With lit fuses.